i just want to hold you.

It’s raining a lot, the lights are softly glowing and there are about three candles in here. I am almost at peak of being at peace, I’ve almost achieved nirvana here if I’m being honest here. This is perfect or almost perfect. I just feel calm. Lover by Taylor Swift ft. Shawn Mendes is playing, it’s just still, almost perfect, blissful.

I’ve become a little bit you and you a little bit me. We talk too much, we spend too much time together it’s not the best use of our time but we’ve formed routines. We do things together, we’re productive and lazy together. There’s a balance and isn’t that what everything in life is really about?

It’s so cold, I’m wearing my favorite sweater right now. I am a little tired but I always am, lights up just came on aH IM so happy right now. I’ve reached my point of the year where everything just seems a little lighter and warmer. This is funny cause the actual weather is much colder, my candle keeps blowing out every five minutes and I need to light it again. It’s cold but it’s warmer. More hot chocolate, hugs, sweaters, blankets, cuddles. You get my point.

The other day I was talking to my dad about how I only got to some of my friends once this year and how because of that this year has been a major waste. Perspective. I say that for everything. I realised I was just bitter cause I really just miss my friends but am unable to keep in touch properly. I suck at texting and calling people. So this is my saying I haven’t forgotten my friends, I’m here and I root for you every day even if I don’t say it to you.

I’m sorry, I miss you, I love you.

Sunflower Vol 6. It’s a very happy song. I don’t know why I started writing this really, it’s been a while I think? I just feel good even if things aren’t the best, or haven’t been, they will get better. Okay, I spend this whole year saying that, but I’m keeping the faith. We’ll be alright.

Death bed is a very sad song, soothing though. I hope you’re doing well, I’m rooting for you. There are only a couple of weeks left for this year to end, but this is not going to change anytime soon is it? Sighs. It’s okay. We got this.

Here’s to Harry Styles and Ariana Grande for giving us a little something to look forward to. Here’s to us. Here’s to the end of the world as we know it. Here's to starting again how many ever times you need to. Here’s to whatever you need.

lots of love and hugs, wtv you need

until next time.

k.c