he smiled. she smiled. problem solved.

love is practice. it's effort a lot of it and it's not easy no matter what form of love. it is persistence, and patience, a lot of it. god sometimes it's so hard to love people, but you do it nevertheless, it's a very human thing. feelings. i hate them, love them. it's been a couple emotional days with some people. it's not always easy, but like keep loving them even if they're a pain and make you talk about things and sometimes make you do things you would never. just keep them. people really need people. wow I sound like old now, with the whole cherish your loved ones cause one day we'll be gone and nothing of us will be left. maybe some letters, notes, poetry. and all of those are signs of love, pretty sick isn't it? we write out of anger, love, sadness, and all because it matters to us because of people who matter to us. I'll stop I sound really old now lmao.

i was talking to a friend the other day about how much things are different than it was a year ago. I really wanted to say I'm in a better place now but then I realised that honestly, I'm not. I'm just in a different place, and a different place doesn't automatically translate to a better place. a lot of people assume it does, that change and different means better but no it doesn't.

my struggles last year was very different, a lot of it based on adapting to a lot of change that had suddenly happened, and relationships were tested blah blah it was hard and that's the point. now it's still hard but different, life-altering exams, every minute counts, unexpected people, it's been something altogether. I think it's funny that I had finally started feeling that hey okay it's okay, it's not as horrible as I made things out to be in my head, and then suddenly bam. there's a pandemic, a never-ending lockdown. more change. more change than anyone can possibly handle. it's been pretty shite, to be honest. here we are though, living and stuff.

ps how old do you think Icarus was? I'd say a teenager a best, because only someone in that age criteria is willing to risk their life to get just a taste, of something he always dreamt of. he knew the risks, he was aware of the fact that he had everything to lose yet he admiration for the sun was so overpowering when compared to his rationale that he just said, I want this, yes I might die but at least I'll die knowing what it feels like to kiss the sun.

pretty crazy if you ask me.

but anyway as I wrote this it was very early, I was just kinda out of it, and just high on life, it felt good. no life wasn't particularly good but in the moment ah I felt peaceful. okay this rant is pretty short I have stuff to do.

call a few people, read some poetry, maybe study, and sleep ofc.

you're appreciated and adored. :)

please take care of yourself, *hugs*

all the love,

until the next time,

k.c