black and white

it's been a soft day today, it's very dark right now and my fairy lights are dimly lit, there's a soft smell of vanilla due to the candle lit on my study table. I'm on my bed, I'm wearing this new sweater i got, it's niall horan merch which i essentially got for free which is funny but it's warm and my new favourite clothing article.

it's been a good day today, i got to wake up late, i wasn't very productive, i took this day for myself, these last few week have been exhausting. things are coming together. paper houses is playing in the background, I feel very peaceful right now. I'm okay, really okay, I'm not too happy or sad, I'm okay. it feels good. i hope you're okay, if not please do something that makes you feel okay.

my eyes really hurt, but i'm sort of addicted to my laptop so here i am. we're all addicted to things, people. i want to live like this, at peace, there's this calm surrounding me now, i haven't talked to too many people today, it's been a quiet day, i love it. people keep telling me i should be happy that there are people who want to call me, text me and i am happy that there are people who want to talk to me but sometimes it's too much.

i'm very introverted, i need my space from people, i need silence, i need me more than i need anyone around me and some people really don't understand and that's okay, they don't relate.

I'm not sure why I started writing this, I think I just want to share some of the stillness i feel right now, I just want you to feel what I feel right now because this moment is going to pass and I'm not sure when it will return. I'll wake up tomorrow and everything will be foggy and rushed again, the blue will turn into blueish grey but right now it is not, I feel warm and calm, I feel like I'm in a dream and I know it will end but in this moment this is everything to me.

i hope you have something like this too, something that is everything to you even if it's for a moment, a song, a cup of good coffee, a person, a phone call, a feeling, something.

until the next time,

all the love,

k.c